M. J. Martin
outlan.net
November 2026
Wearable Opinions for Network People
Status of This Memo
This memo describes 3 shirts for people who run networks, read packet captures, and have opinions about both. Distribution of this memo is unlimited.
Abstract
Each shirt carries a quote, a law, or a public service announcement from the world of infrastructure. Two-sided shirts have a Front and Back view; select a picture to see it full size.
Table of Contents
- 1. Introduction
- 2. Give Your RAM to Sam
- 3. man stupidity
- 4. The Way the World Is
- 5. Security Considerations
- 6. IANA Considerations
- 7. References
1. Introduction
These shirts started as jokes told across data center floors and change-advisory meetings. Each one is printed on a black tee when you order it, so every size is always available. Orders are placed, paid for and shipped through Fourthwall, which also handles sales tax and any order questions. Every shirt that is ready to order is also in the Outlan shop. The sections that follow describe the shirts in no particular order.
2. Give Your RAM to Sam
The data centers are starving. The front is a public service announcement asking you to send your spare RAM to Sam. The back is the relief effort's slogan: no DIMM left behind.
- Prints:
- Front and back
Ordering opens soon.
3. man stupidity
Carlo Cipolla's five basic laws of human stupidity (1976), condensed into a man page. The back runs whoami --help, lists his four kinds of people, then leaves the prompt waiting for you.
- Prints:
- Front and back
Ordering opens soon.
4. The Way the World Is
Charlie Munger, speaking to the Wall Street Journal in March 2023: decisions have to be made for the world as it is. The back carries his line that capitalism without failure is like religion without hell, which he borrowed from the economist Allan Meltzer.
- Prints:
- Front and back
Ordering opens soon.
5. fortune
Pedro Domingos on why we should worry less about clever machines: the stupid ones already took over. Printed as the output of fortune(6).
- Prints:
- Front
Ordering opens soon.
6. Maxwell's Daemon
In 1867 James Clerk Maxwell imagined a tiny demon sorting fast molecules from slow ones. In 1963 the programmers of MIT's Project MAC borrowed the idea for their background processes, and Unix kept the name.
- Prints:
- Front
Ordering opens soon.
7. Munger, Typeset
The quote from Section 4, set in a slab serif. Printed on the front only.
- Prints:
- Front
Ordering opens soon.
8. Your Data
One question for every privacy policy you have ever accepted.
- Prints:
- Front
Ordering opens soon.
9. Infrastructure Does Not Lie
For anyone who has settled an argument with a packet capture. One sentence, front only.
- Prints:
- Front
Ordering opens soon.
- [DOMINGOS]
- Domingos, P., "The Master Algorithm", Basic Books, 2015.
- [MAXWELL]
- Maxwell, J. C., "Theory of Heat", Longmans, Green, 1871.
5. Security Considerations
Wearing Section 3 to a change-advisory board meeting is not recommended.
6. IANA Considerations
This document has no IANA actions.
7. References
- [CIPOLLA]
- Cipolla, C., "The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity", 1976.
- [RFC2324]
- Masinter, L., "Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0)", RFC 2324, April 1998.
- [ZWEIG]
- Zweig, J., "What Gets Lost When You Rescue Markets", The Wall Street Journal, March 2023.
Author's Address
M. J. Martin
outlan.net